Andate a la mierda, jodido

To the bastard who stole my bag at the train station yesterday: Karma's a bitch.

I hope you choke on my granola bars. I hope you suddenly discover a severe allergy to nuts that causes your entire fact to swell to three times its normal size. I hope that you are subsequently attacked by a large flock of pidgeons that poke holes in your sweater and crap in your hair. I hope that when you showed my broken camera, my Argentine history book, my four batteries, my cell phone charger, my granola bars, my juice box, my disposable camera, and my CD full of pictures to your boss, he punched you in the face and made you sleep in a pile of garbage. I hope my camera electrocutes you when you try to fix it. I hope whoever you swindle into buying it comes and finds you and makes you regret ever coming anywhere near me. I hope you contract a painful STD that causes critical parts of your anatomy to experience severe pain and eventually fall off. I hope the goo you dribbled on my leg to distract me attracts an army of flesh-eating ants to you while you sleep. I hope that someone will go out of their way to make you feel as upset and vulnerable as you made me feel when you swindled me.

Asshole.